Two years ago our daughters came home. We celebrate today in honor of the remarkable way families are made. I’m reminded how family isn’t about blood and genetics and giving birth. Family is about love and support and time together.
Sometimes I forget we don’t share the same genes. There are times when they are so much like Andy and me. If you would see a photo of the five of us, you would be struck by the way we look like one another. Living, day in and day out, I know it takes more than looking like a family to be a family.
We have become a family because we have chosen to love. Even when loving is hard, we do it anyway. There is no choice in the matter.
We have become a family because we have chosen to invest in the lives of our children. We comfort them in the middle of the night. We encourage them to try new things. Even when things are inconvenient, we do them anyway. There is no choice in the matter.
We have become a family because we spend as much time together as possible. We play board games and let the dishes wait. We take bike rides and postpone the dusting. Andy and I stay up late to finish the tasks. Even when we’re tired, we play anyway. There is no choice in the matter.
We have become a family because this is what we were called to do. This is the way our family was created and designed. Even when life is difficult, we are still a family. There is no choice in the matter.
Today we were talking about the way our family was made. “Why didn’t you grow in my belly?” I asked.
“Your belly is broken,” Stephanie said, “So we had to grow in someone else’s body, so you could still be our parents.”
Hannah added, “Except we had to live without you for a little while. That wasn’t fun. People didn’t take care of us like you do.”
“Yeah,” Stephanie nodded, “That’s how we know this is real. You’ll always take care of us.”
“We’re a forever family, right Mom?” Sam said.
“Right buddy. A forever family.” There is no choice in the matter.
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Beautiful. Wish more parents felt that ‘there was no choice, but to be there ‘forever’ for their kids. There would be less ‘broken kids’ for us to try to help repair.’
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“That’s how we know this is real. You’ll always take care of us.”
Awesome.
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I remember when I was first slicing with you and Stacey, Ruth and you weren’t able to join us and I wondered, where is she? And when your girls arrived and you posted, I was thrilled to meet you and what a reason. I was blown away by your approach to family. What a way to meet someone.
I love hearing more and more about your family.
Bravo to you and your family,
Bonnie
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Having spent the time here with my parents for a few days, I can see that my parents and you have the same committment level–of understanding that there is no choice because of what you want the outcome to be.
That compelling line–there is no choice–also serves to remind me that there are mothers and father who assume there is a choice and who do not step up and choose the better part. I really liked how you spoke to each other about this. Really–it’s about how you’ve chosen each other.
Lovely post. Thanks!
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This was very touching and beautiful. I am sitting here crying. I can just feel the love through my computer screen.
A Forever Family—is a great line.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
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“your belly is broken…” – priceless! What a beautiful conversation to remind us of what it REALLY means to be a family. Thank you for sharing. As I think about fulfilling my dream to adopt children, these are the stories that encourage me to not let go of that dream! ~ jen
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I love the repetition of the line that’s in italics. Happy Gotcha Day Ayres Family! Keep celebrating… Forever!
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A Forever Family – that is a treasure. Sounds like a wonderful choice was made to begin with!
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