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ruth’s sols: i know myself better.

Last week I read this on Ali Edwards’  blog:

My expectations this time around are completely different. My approach is slower and calmer. I know myself better and I am less-stressed out (even with more on my plate). I know my limits. I take deeper breaths.

As is so often the case, I’m inspired to write like Ali.  So today’s slice of life is one which has been percolating all week long, thinking about how I’ve changed over time. 

It goes like this:  A woman who has changed so much from who she once was, sits down at her computer, lifts a line from a favorite writer and then writes with abandon.  

I know myself better and I am less-stressed out (even with more on my plate.)  I know my limits.  I take deeper breaths.  Things don’t upset me like they used to.  I’ve realized something about people and it is this:  The way they act (or respond) to me has less to do with me and more to do with the current state of their lives.

I remember my friend Kurt once saying that we are all walking around with cups filled to the brim.  Inevitably we bump into one another, spilling the stuff in our cups on each other.  The question is:  What are you spilling on to others?

Although life is crazier than ever before, I find myself more calm and relaxed.  I find myself slowing down.  I find myself doing more, yet feeling more at peace than ever before.  I’ve embraced the eb and flow of life.

I understand that somedays I’m not going to get some things done.  And I’m okay with that.  Insteadof fretting, stressing, and putting undue pressure on myself, I choose to let it go.  I remember being in middle school, high school, and an undergrad — everything had to be done perfectly, the first time, and completed before the due date.  No wonder I was constantly having stomach aches, a pain in my neck, and a mouth full of sores.  I was stressed to the max.

Not today.  Today I have more schedules to balance, more tasks to accomplish, more places to be, more laundry to do and yet, I feel more relaxed.

I know myself better.  I know what to prioritize and what to let go.  I know to hug my husband , kiss my kids, go for a walk, create art and all the rest will fall into place.  I’ve learned to trust.  I’ve learned that everything doesn’t rest on my shoulders.

And most importantly, I’ve learned that perfection is quite overrated.

Ruth Ayres View All

Unhurried. Finding the magic in the middle of living. Capturing a life of ridiculous grace + raw stories.

9 thoughts on “ruth’s sols: i know myself better. Leave a comment

  1. That same few words on Ali Edwards blog resonated within me as well. It is true, the more eperience we have the better able we are able to recognize how best to handle what life hands us. With calm and confidence. You’re totally right, perfection is overrated! 🙂


  2. Ruth
    I need to remember this! In a month when the dog has had $4500 worth of surgery, and a chip in my computer went bad, and taxes aren’t done, and my son’s high school thinks the fact that one third of the freshmen (my son included) have less than a C average is the fault of the kids, not the school, I just need to breathe, and take walks, and create art. And let stuff fall into place. Thanks for this reminder.


  3. I have noticed this about myself too. Yesterday I was talking to a teacher who is quite stressed about a parent issue and as we talked, I realized that I am not that person anymore. I give myself credit for the work I do, take responsibility when I goof, but don’t worry over those things that don’t go well. I am liking this person that I have grown into. Your post was a great prompt for my own reflections. Thanks.


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