A Sweet Conference

I was back in Mr. Miller’s third grade classroom today.  It is such an enjoyable place to be; his students have become writers.  Today K. asked me, “Will you have a conference with me?”

I tipped the conferring record toward him and said, “We’ve talked twice and look at all of these blank spaces.  There are a lot of writers I’ve not met with yet.”  He smiled sheepishly and returned to work.

M. said, “You’ve not met with me.  Look, my box is blank.  Let’s talk.”  The freckles sprinkled across her cheeks, coupled with her big brown eyes melted my heart.  I couldn’t help but cave to her request.

As I pulled up a chair beside her, she began telling me about her dog Lilly, “Well she’s like 10% my dog, she’s actually my piano teacher’s dog. . . ” and she launched into telling me a Lilly story.  I was so entertained by her that I didn’t stop her as she told about another Lilly memory.

As she took a breath and gathered her thoughts, I interrupted her by asking, “So why did you want to talk to me about your writing?”

M. shrugged.  “Well nothing.  I just wanted to talk about my story.” She smiled and started in again, “Lilly is really funny like the time she . . .”

“Wait, a minute,” I smiled at her and touched her shoulder with the eraser of my pencil, “M. you just discovered something really important about yourself as a writer.”  She smiled and I continued, “You know that you can collect ideas about a topic in your notebook, plan a draft, then write a little and then you need to talk about your story.  After talking do you feel like you can write your story better now?”

“Ohhhh yeah,” she grinned at me.

“Do you still need to talk a little more?”

“Yes, just the last part, the funny part about Lilly.”

“Well, the good news is you don’t have to talk to a teacher, you can talk to any writer in the room.  Is there a writer in your group that you feel would be a good listener?”

She pointed to the boy across the table from her.  “Just ask him if he has a few minutes to you while you tell him a funny story about Lilly.”

As M. directed her request to the other student (who joyfully accepted), Mr. Miller and I moved away while recording the conference on our note sheet.

I couldn’t help but smile.  Not only did the student have more energy for writing, but so did I.  This is a tell tale sign of a successful conference:  the energy level increases.  I reflected about how when I first started conferring, I would have stopped M. when she said she didn’t really have any questions about her writing, she just wanted to talk.  My teaching point would have been about having a purpose to the conference.  I would have “taught” her that when she requests a conference, she should have something she wants to talk about as a writer.

Today I trust students more.  I listen more.  I respond as a writer.  M. reminded me of me.  Last night I had drafts due to Stacey.  As I was working on them, I would get my husband’s attention and ask him to listen to this or that.  As a writer, I needed to “just talk.”   As a teacher, I need to just listen.