Thank You!

Little did I know what I was in for when I asked for response.  Thank you!  Thank you!  I cannot even begin to tell you how your response has stretched me as a writer and gave me insight as a teacher.  What a neat little community we have here of teachers and writers together.  Thank you for supporting me.  Below you will see my revisions, made in green based on your feedback.  Some things I’m still considering:

1. I’m not sure how I like the switch in stanza one.
2. I’m not sure about “today” in the last line.  Perhaps “today” should be deleted?

If you have a bit of time to leave little comment, it would be appreciated! 

Teach Different
By Ruth Ayres

Stick-straight sitting
Controlled-neat printing
Always at attention —
Teach Different!

They come,
Millions of experiences crammed-smashed
Into reluctant bodies —
Grumbling and moaning
Complaining and shrugging
Expecting a year like last.

Failing because they’re not —
Stick-straight sitting
Controlled-neat printing
Always at attention.

So we begin living like writers,
Come gather ’round and listen and learn
Here is my writer’s notebook,
I keep fragments of my life —
Grin-splitting giggling times
Heart-breaking tearing times
Foot-stomping burning times
Let’s collect.
And so we do.

Later, after the words have come,
I push a little.
Come gather ’round and listen and learn
You are a writer.
Say something real, something that matters —
Drip-sweating
Heart-wrenching
Brain-killing
Let’s revise.
And so we do.

Then in the end,
Millions of experiences
free flowing, wandering the room
Out and alive because we’re not —
Stick-straight sitting
Controlled-neat printing
Always at attention.

We are a —
Wide-awake collecting
Sloppy-revising
Self-respecting
Community of writers.

Teach different today.